The Fruit of the Vine

11 bottles of Santa Barbara's finest consumed by nine thirsty people (well, eight 1/2 considering that one didn't really consume that much). And here is the picture to prove it. Yikes!

From left to right:
Tantarra Chardonnay
Huber Chardonnay
Ampelos Viognier
Ampelos Rose
Au Bon Climat Pinot Noir
Ampelos Pinot Noir
Ken Brown Pinot Noir
Clos Pepe Estate Pinot Noir

Deep Thought: Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyard and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
--- Jack Handy

I found my belly button

Bahama Mama

Did you know that there really is a drink called the "Bahama Mama?" A fruity rum concotion, of course. I was handed one as we arrived at the resort where we stayed in Abaco, Bahamas. It's arguably one of the better moments of a tropical, beach vacation - when you finally get to your destination, realize that you are in a beautiful place and a world away from the daily grind and a few sips of that fruity drink and you are ready to relax.

And we were ready to relax.....because we were the people with the screaming baby for five loooong hours from LA to Miami. Bill was offering to buy people drinks, and I made a public apology to the three rows in front of us. Probably the longest five hours of my life. And then she fell asleep as we were de-boarding the plane. Go figure.

It was worth the pain, though. Here are some pictures.....











All of the babes together for a rare photo op.

In case you were wondering....

which I am sure that you are.....our house did not burn down. I'm also happy to report that Annabelle's favorite playground survived the blaze.

It does put a little damper on a vacation when you are watching live coverage of a raging fire within a mile of your house. What are you to do? Hey, let's make some popcorn and watch our house get torched. Like watching a reality horror movie.

Firefighters of Los Feliz Station #35 and other area firefighters kept the blaze from reaching any homes, as a matter of fact. The same awesome firemen who rescued Annabelle from the car when her mother accidentally locked her in it. (Sorry mom, I'm not sure I ever told you about that one). She was six months old at the time. I was panicked and was ready to do some serious damage to our car to get to her. They held me down (it was clear that one of the firemen was assigned to mom control) and got her out quickly and safely.

I've thought about those firefighters a lot. What can we do to thank them? Lots of neighbors have taken cookies over. Bill suggested beef. Uncooked. Hmmmm. Is that weird? Thanks for putting out the fire, here's some raw beef. He assures me that all firefighters like to cook and eat beef. Is that true? This is LA afterall. They could be vegetarians.

In the hot zone

There's a fire raging in our neighborhood about a mile from our house. It's all from a kid hacking a butt in the park and not properly putting the cigarette out. Annabelle's favorite park has been destroyed. :( And there's nothing we can do except watch the news. I think it will be national headlines tomorrow. www.latimes.com

The "Uh-Oh 2000"

Do you have trouble getting out of bed at 7:00 am? Are you a frequent oversleeper? Hit the snooze button in your sleep?

If that's you. (Ellen, I know you are out there). Then, I have got a solution for you! The "Uh-Oh 2000" is the new must-have alarm clock guaranteed to get you out of bed by 7:00.

Beginning at 6:00 or 6:15, you'll hear a sweet sounding repetition of uh-oh for the first 15 - 30 minutes. It gradually escalates to a Aaaaaaa, Uh, then finally a Whaaaaaaaaa. The volume will markedly increase at 6:45 and is sure to eject you from your bed. There is no snooze feature, so you won't be tempted to catch a few more zzzzzs. And you are on your way to a great day.

Batteries not included.

Fly by, double G

Didn't sleep last night. Wanna know why? It was 3:00 am, and I was suddenly roused. A bright light was shining on my bed. Was I taking center-stage in my dream? Did the heavens just open up? The Second Coming??

Oh no, it was just a pesky "ghetto bird"* buzzing our house. In other words, LAPD was looking for a thug nasty. On my patio. Or in my bedroom?

We both stumbled upstairs to gird our loins and protect our lair. It was now over our backyard. I looked up at our skylight....wait...there's another bird. Could there really be TWO circling our home and our neighbors'? Yes, there were.

And then, they moved on. I guess the suspect had left our place and was no longer holed up in our garden shed (where I was convinced he would be).

This morning, my nerves are frayed. I need a lot of coffee to deal with the world. I can't help but feel that the LAPD should have left a little note at my door apologizing for the emotional and psychological distress they caused me last night. "We're sorry that we circled your house for 20 min, almost took off your chimney, woke up your household and convinced you to believe that there was a very, very bad person lurking outside your window." I mean, throw us a donut.


*a ghetto bird is another name for a police helicopter in the ghetto. because of the high crime rates in slum areas, helicopters constantly patrol from the skies. residents frequently hear them fly over their homes and are so used to the sound they names them ghetto birds as they are just like big birds constantly in the air.

-Urban Dictionary.com

"Run, Run, Run, from tha ghetto bird!"
-ICE CUBE